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Gas prices are mooning, and according to our leaders and late night hosts, we only have two choices:
\Apparently Tesla cars are made by the company with the stock ticker $TSLA. Just to clarify, I believe they want us to buy the cars to combat fuel prices instead of calls?*
The pity is, for middle-class people who can't just drive less, our Ford F-250 Supermaxes can't consume less fuel than they already do, even when I make my truck more aerodynamic with a pair of cattle horns taped to the grill. So middle and lower classes r fuk when it comes to gas hikes.
But this logic does apply to another vehicle of choice: the human body.
And just in time for another major spike in more CPI prices... Fueled by war in Ukraine and continued non-transitory inflation, products like wheat, fertilizer, and cooking oils are increasing as much as 60%.
My vehicle can't consume less fuel, but I certainly can.
Thanks to years of poor dietary routine and growing generational stresses, I've saved up as much as 20% of my bodyweight in fat. Until now.
As the food-based CPI continues to rocket past 10%, I can short my $BMI by 20%+ month-over-month for guaranteed gains in food expenses. This will not only increase funds that I can utilize when my $BMI nears zero, but also counteracts commodity futures that will now price in my plans to buy less food.
I would even consider myself nakedly shorting $BMI in this case, not because I'm rehypothecating shares, but because my $BMI is lower when I have on fewer clothes.
BMI Oct. 23p